August 24, 2014

run with the wolves


"Your mother did not raise you with a wolf in your chest so you could howl over losing a man."

Man. I saw this quote on tumblr this week and it hit me right in the damn heart. My photoshop skills are rusty and parts of this image really bug me, but I couldn't sit and marinate with this quote any longer. It struck a chord deep inside of me and hasn't let go.

I will not howl over losing a man.
Instead, I will howl over my lost innocence. I will howl over unrequited feelings and bruised egos. I will howl over the friendship you replaced with silence. I will howl over stolen kisses on dark residential streets. I will howl over the back and forth, the do you want me--do you really really want me this time? I will howl over losing cells that held panic attacks and the breakdown of the purest love I have ever known. I will howl a blue chair in a therapist's office: the one that held all my secrets as I spilled them out into the world. I will howl over friendships lost to depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I will howl over a family torn apart by lies and deceit. I will howl over the strain that comes from growing another year older. I will howl over an anniversary that hangs over my head every year, reminding me of how much I have grown and yet how far I still have to go.

I will howl over all of these things, and not waste one second howling over losing you.

Week 34/52

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