mondaze.

 Good things: a giant cup of coffee out of my new Rachel Allene holiday mug, redoing my website from top to bottom for 2021, I got a new job(!), my therapist is so proud of me, we're gonna find a new place to live, 2021 is looking so fucking bright and I cannot wait to see what it has in store for us.

sunrise, sunrise

Justin got done with work late this morning. Which meant that I got to go home and drink my coffee and snuggle with my Mew girl and wake up slowly, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and feeling alive this morning. When I got back to Pick n Save and Justin still wasn't done, I got to watch this beautiful golden sunrise from the parking lot. Came home with my man in tow, poured another cup of coffee, finishing Project Runway season 16 and then getting down to work for the day.

Happy Thursday!

monday, monday

Today has been a good day. I've been doing "day in the life" on instagram stories today and it kind of feels like I'm oversharing but I also kind of don't care so it balances itself out. Someone cleaned the 8+ inches of snow we got yesterday off my car so I didn't have to do it this morning. I shared a really sweet engagement session over on my other blog today. I made two cups of coffee, which I normally don't do but just felt like it today. Went to therapy and HOLY COW. I have so many notes to work through. Making orange chicken and rice for dinner and probably gonna watch Jane the Virgin. A+ Monday.

good things

Good things: resuming morning walks around the yard. a hot cup of coffee. a good night’s sleep. planning for Justin’s birthday next week. getting an engagement session from the weekend edited. stretching. yesterday I called my primary doc for a therapist rec and that feels like a big step. feeling really really grateful for everything in my life right now. 

little things turn into big things

Slowing down and really taking the time to savor these first days of fall weather and the last days of rest before things really start getting crazy around here. Joyful, indeed. (New mug from Rachel Allene!) I broke out all my leggings and long sleeved shirts again. I have 4 engagement sessions, two rounds of mini sessions for family pictures, a shoot with Abby, plus a wedding on my schedule from next weekend through the end of October... which also means I have enough content from this year to keep me blogging through MARCH. Say what?! My mind is blown.

I still can't stop thinking about being in the hospital last year and in the weeks that followed, I hit a wall where I was like "What the hell am I doing?" I was constantly looking for something to post on Instagram and Facebook, and counting down the days until spring and my wedding season started which that signaled that busy season was here again. All I had on my calendar was Emily's wedding, Abby's senior pictures, and Brittany's wedding. I ran my numbers today and I've made the same amount of money this year that I did last year and we still have Q4 to go.

This whole year has been a giant learning experience for me. It's been almost a year since my flop of an event with Next Stop Kids Shop last fall where nobody bought tickets. I finally put my money where my mouth was and invested in my future and I'm 100% convinced that is how I got to where I am now. I hit my wedding goal for next year this week! Every single day, I wake up so damn grateful that this is my life. That I have found a way to do the thing that brings the most joy that any job ever has. And there are still days where I have to pinch myself because sometimes I cannot believe that I really don't have to go to Hardee's anymore and perpetually smell like grease and stale french fries. ;)

Last October I was watching everyone on Instagram immersed in busy season and wishing I was in it too. This year, I have 4 engagement sessions with some of my awesome 2020 couples, a shoot with Abby, two rounds of mini sessions for family photos, AND my last wedding of the year the last weekend in October. That meme that's like "Check on your photographer friends. October to us is what April is to accountants. WE ARE NOT OK." is 100% gonna be me once all this gets into full swing.

So I'm savoring these days when I let myself take a nap in the middle of the day and coffee from a mug that's going to become my new favorite, for sure. Cheers, friends!

on pancakes and gratitude

I woke up this morning with a craving for pancakes after having a dream about them last night. According to dream moods, pancakes "represent gratification and pleasure in your current situation. You take pleasure and comfort in the simple things of life." I have felt like I am on top of the world this week. I had a consult with a wedding couple when I was in Burlington last weekend, another consult on Monday evening after I got back to Waupaca, and another consult with a bride over the phone this afternoon. I just booked THREE weddings in one week. I only need to book one more wedding to hit my goal for next year!

I feel like this is all I blog about these days, but sometimes I still have to pinch myself that this is all real and happening to me. I stopped at Hardee's to get food after my consult on Monday and told Melissa, "Every single day I am grateful that I quit this job." And it's true. This time last year, I was winding down from busy season and trying to figure out what was next in this photography journey of mine. I took a bunch of free webinars and some classes and sat down with my planner and got to work trying to rebrand and really rebuild my business from the ground up. I redid my website from H2T (ANTM reference anyone?) and finally created something I am proud to say showcases me, my brand, and my business. I couldn't have done it without Jenna Kutcher and Jenni Maroney; I will forever sing their praises and how quality their classes are!

Then I got sick and I spent most of December rotating between my bed and hospitals  and waiting rooms and doctors offices (and rinse and repeat for the rest of winter). Y'all, the waiting was hard. Feeling like I couldn't go out and take pictures, or not wanting to because I didn't feel good, was the worst. I faced some major anxiety about if I was doing the right thing not having another job because at the time I only had three things on my 2019 calendar: Emily's wedding, Brittany's wedding, and Abby's senior pictures. In my head, I always told myself, "You just need to make it to April. Wedding season starts and SPRING will be here and busy season will start again."

And then I blinked and now it's the end of August, and I'm planning for fall mini session releases, and brain dumping trying to figure out a good Black Friday deal, and Christmas presents for my family clients as a little thank you for supporting me this year. I have sessions in my blog post queue for my website that aren't going live until December. That in and of itself sorta blows my mind until I take a step back and realize that I have been pretty busy this summer (and it's not over yet!). I only need to book three more sessions and my editorial calendar will be full until next MAY.

I'm just so damn grateful that I get to do this every day. That I get to wake up and work for myself and set some weeks where everything feels like go-go-go-go and then take a week or two off to rest and catch up on editing and galleries and shipping products before I go-go-go again. That's the beauty of this whole thing. I'm really blown away that everything I was dreaming about 9 months ago while I was laying in a hospital bed is finally coming true.

You just gotta put in the work.

And, as Noelle reminded me today, "You are taaallleeennnttted. And ya deserve it. You work damn hard. And you have invested a ton of time into becoming a great photographer, a lot of money into building your business, so now you get the reward."

fun plans > doctors offices

We're coming up on the part of the month that I have simultaneously been looking forward to and absolutely dreading at the same time. Monday starts my slew of doctor's offices for the month with an appointment with my primary doc to check on my anxiety meds. Then it's like I'm mixing in weekends to Burlington every other weekend and trips to the county fair to get me through labs, CT scans and a breathing treatment in Point, another set of labs in Waupaca, and then a trip up to Weston to see my lung doctor himself and get another idea of what is going on in this body of mine.

I'm mixing in the fun stuff to keep me looking forward to something. (Combining business trips with pleasure activities helps too.) My next Burlington trip is the anniversary of my dad's death trip for the third year running. The first year was a fun road trip to show my Waupaca friends where I grew up. Last year I shot a wedding in Kenosha and stayed in a hotel room by myself because my mom was redoing her kitchen and it was the best work trip I have ever had, and made a trip to Burlington before I left to see my family and friends. This year, the only thing I have planned is a wedding consult with a couple that's getting married at the same venue Noelle and Josh did last summer. It's the only work thing I am committing to this year because I want this weekend to be fun-fun, not "I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off"-fun because I overscheduled myself and then got emotionally burnt out.

Labor Day Weekend I'm making another Burlington trip to photograph a surprise vow renewal in Lake Geneva and I'm so pumped, I don't even care that I'll be cursing under my breath about FIBs and traffic the entire way there. (And if you know me, that says a lot! Haha.) And in between all these Burlington trips is the county fair. I'm trying to get Mini Sessions together but if I just do what I did last year and trade my camera back and forth with Abby, I'll be pretty happy.

The theory is that all this fun stuff will keep me going no matter the outcome of all my tests between Burlington and the fair, and my doctor's appointment between the fair and Labor Day Weekend. Please let the outcome be good.

an ordinary wednesday

I dragged myself out of bed at 7, grabbed the Mew cat and went back to bed to snuggle until 7:30. After Justin got up I took a shower, danced it out while I conditioned my hair and washed my face. Showering in the morning feels kind of magical after being a consistent night shower person since I was in high school. My entire reason for getting up early this morning was to meet up with an Instagram friend in real life! We met for coffee and the cutest little coffee shop downtown that I'm pretty sure is gonna become one of my new hangout spots when I need to get work done and want to get out of the house.

It was so nice to sit down with someone and just chat about things like social media strategy and how it relates to our business, how to make blogging fun again, and the Instagram algorithm and how much it makes us want to tear our hair out haha. I can nerd out about that stuff forever and it was so much fun to hang out with someone who gets it just like I do. We made a plan to try for a coffee date once a month and I'm so excited to have finally made a friend in Waupaca after quitting my fast food job.

An ordinary Wednesday can sometimes turn into an extraordinary day.

good things

This morning, taking a walk around the yard and seeing a rabbit. Rabbits mean good luck, magical power and success. I’m taking it as a good sign the day before my Spring Portrait Day with Next Stop Kids Shop tomorrow. I sat on the front steps with my coffee and sat in the sunshine this morning, still in my pajamas with bed head and all. Take 5 minutes today to do something that’s good for your soul. Your future self will thank you later. 

cozy vibes

Saturday. Fresh snow. Morning golden hour. -5° wind chill. Two cups of coffee, a new sweater, season 2 finale of Grey’s, and knitting until my hands hurt. A good freaking day in my book. 

christmas 2018

We had a very low-key Christmas this year. Justin’s mom and I drank coffee (of course). We opened presents on Christmas morning in our pajamas. Hayden loved his Micky Mouse pillow we got for him and Justin’s mom loved the coffee cup I got for her. I skipped Christmas dinner at Tammy’s mom house to hang out with Justin and eat pizza, watch Naruto, and we literally stayed in our pj’s all day. I FaceTimed with my family back in Burlington after they ate dinner. Cora and Tammy got me coloring books for Christmas, and I got Cora coloring books for Christmas... so we ended the night with Melissa, drinking wine, and coloring in our Christmas presents. Did I mention low-key holidays are MY FAV?

the love of my life

Dear coffee,

I know National Coffee Day was Saturday, but you must forgive my lateness. You are my favorite morning ritual. You are all about familiarity: the same Folgers coffee grounds, the same Anthropologie mug, the same International Delight Caramel Macchiato creamer. You never fail to provide me with a sense of comfort and an essence of home that exists now only in my memories.

It's the mornings when my grandma would get me up for school and already have a bowl of Cookie Crisp cereal and a glass of milk waiting at my seat at the kitchen counter. She would say good morning to me as she poured herself her second cup of coffee. The first was always consumed as she read the paper every morning. There was usually a 50/50 chance she was going to explode the egg she was trying to poach in the microwave, and we'd have a laugh about it as I read the comics and she tried to salvage her breakfast.

It's Saturday mornings on the weekends I spent with my dad. Puttering around in his apartment, still sleepy-eyed and seeing him drinking coffee out of one of his mismatched coffee mugs. I always coveted his Circus World mug for my hot chocolate during the winter. He had approximately 3,000 cups of coffee during the day when he took planes cars, trains, and buses to get to his jobs sites in Downtown Chicago, and I always got to help him haul his thermoses out of his car on Friday nights.

It's the mornings when my mom started working third shift and she would always bring me a cappuccino from Kwik Trip on her way home from work. English Toffee was my favorite, and if I was lucky she'd throw a little hot cocoa into the mix. It was our little before school ritual when I was in middle school and she was working as a CNA. Nothing like being hyped up on caffeine and sugar to give you the energy to put out so much teenage angst with your friends at lunch.

It's the mornings before I left for college when I bought a container of International Delight French Vanilla creamer from Gooseberries, determined to become a coffee drinker like a ~real adult.~ The cups were mostly cream and very little coffee, but it was a comforting ritual to have something warm to drink before starting my days that were about to be turned upside down by art school and my ever-so-slightly-soul-crushing entrance into adulthood 1500 miles away from home.

It's in the mornings spent curled up on the couch in our old apartment, knitting my first blanket and watching Gilmore Girls reruns on ABC Family back when it was still called ABC Family. That hour I gave to myself each morning made me feel like me again when pretty much everything else in my life had exploded into a giant flaming mess. That morning ritual gave me hope that if I could establish some sort of routine, maybe everything else would be okay too.

All of those mornings have evolved into my now, where I start every morning with a fresh cup. Pull up my dancing playlist on my phone and go take a walk around the yard while I drink my coffee. Feeling the quiet in the air and the warmth from my coffee cup makes me feel alive on the days that it's hard to pull myself out of bed at all.

I love you, coffee. Never change.

my favorite holiday

overwhelming sense of good

'80s music, sunlight, coffee, that late summer feeling. It's all connected to an overwhelming sense of good.

she's on her way

Signs that fall is coming: the ground cover in the backyard starting to turn at the end of August. it's raining a lot. watching the "flickr plant" we were all obsessed with as teenagers this time of year start to pop up. actually wanting to wear jeans and leggings again, even though the humidity thinks it's still summer. savoring those first few sips of coffee every morning. sleeping with a comforter at night with the fan blowing on high. my friends are messaging me about fall pictures. today is the first day of school. high school sports are on the radio again. dollar general has their Halloween section fully stocked. pumpkin spice is back at the grocery store. all I want to buy are cardigans and "back to school" clothes. Grey's Anatomy comes back in 23 days. I'm feeling restless with inspiration and creative energy, despite how the last few days have made me feel. There is change in the air. Can you feel it?

change is in the air

monday morning

Little things always add up to big things. My morning routine is engrained with little habits that all add up to the bigger picture. I always change out of my pajamas and make my bed, no matter what. But coffee and sunlight are always number one. My morning walk around the yard ensures I start my day with a moment for myself. Sometimes I just end up sitting on the front stoop watching traffic go by while I drink my coffee and enjoy the sun on my face. Other days it looks like dance parties in the backyard while I take pictures and try not to trip or spill my coffee everywhere. It all adds up to this, though: there is a moment every morning where I am electing to take time to nourish my soul. To sit with the prospect of having a whole day out in front of me and saying, "Enjoy this moment, right here."

My #annalovesmornings series started on the couch in our old apartment. February 2014, I took a picture of my morning coffee on a day where I was feeling particularly anxious, as a coping mechanism to try and calm me down. Everything has snowballed from there. I genuinely look forward to getting up and drinking coffee every morning. This series started as my chance to take pictures, to do what I love to do, before going to work at a job that I felt stuck and underappreciated in. Now it's habit, a routine that injects joy and inspiration into my day right from the start.

This morning was one of the quiet ones. Sit in the sunshine, drink coffee and breathe. Put on the coffee leggings and a shirt the color of the sun, throw your hair in a messy bun, and get ready to put your head down and work. I have a wedding to shoot this weekend, 2 shoots booked next week that I'm preparing for, another picture day event with Next Stop Kids Shop that I need to promote, and a slew of other administrative things I need to do. Let's GO, Monday.

little things

Today was one of those slow, ease yourself into it kind of days. Go back to bed for an hour after your alarm goes off. Linger on the back deck until you finish your coffee because the sunshine is warm and you have no other plans for the day. Run errands and marvel at the cloudscapes across the strip mall, and that the shelves at Pick N Save were actually fully stocked. Knit a couple more rows on the blanket you're making. Message some friends and get the ground broken for an upcoming photography event. Savor these moments when you can feel big changes in the air.

monday gratitude

Grateful for... getting up early, coffee, a hot shower, the good morning light that I usually miss because I am too busy sleeping, mid-morning naps, clean laundry, the act of folding laundry, this poem that I analyzed in my AP English class senior year, Grey's Anatomy, knitting to keep my hands busy, old friends, Kevin Devine sing-alongs, all the music I used to listen to in high school and drive with the windows down to, fresh starts, a trip to Burlington this weekend, Coffee House dates with a wedding couple, the inevitable Adrian's run, having the ability to invest in my business, the sun, golden hour, Come Matter Here by Hannah Brencher, this season of change and welcoming the unknown.

coffee, anyone?