seven years ago

Seven years ago, I finished my first 365 challenge. I took a self portrait every day for an entire year, starting right around the time I started my college apps and ending a few weeks away from my first set of art school finals. If it’s true that every cell in your body regenerates every seven years, I am no longer the girl I once embodied in these photos that still mean so much to my fragile heart. 

Something I’m struggling to come to terms with is how very different my life has turned out to be at 25 than what I thought it would look like at 18. College didn’t pan out for me, and in a lot of ways I’m still very bitter about that. All of the jobs that I want now besides working for myself, I need some sort of degree to really be considered for the position. I’m managing a fast food restaurant at 25, and I’m still trying to chase my teenage dreams of making art and making a living at the same time. 

What I realize now though, is that art doesn’t have to be wrapped so tightly into only one medium. Since leaving SCAD, I have discovered I love to knit. And scrapbook. And occasionally play with paint. I don’t have to stick to solely photography or solely writing when I have creative energy that I need to let out. Part of being an artist, I think, is experimenting. Learning different mediums both helps us with gaining new knowledge and a new skill set and also helps us to further our creative process. And, to be honest, the process is one of the reasons why I make in the first place. 

Art usually serves as a distraction from my mental illness. I first learned of the discipline it took to write creatively when I went to writing camp at seventeen. After that experience, the following November I embarked on this crazy 365 challenge of mine. I wanted to prove to myself that I could make good pictures. I wanted to better understand my camera, and also get a better understanding of myself. Without turning my camera on my face for an entire year, I don't know that I would even be here in this text box, sharing my thoughts with all of you, Blogland.

Forever grateful to my 17 year old self for embarking on this crazy journey. I literally don't know where I would be if I hadn't.