living with "intent"

I bought a Get to Work Book when I made my One Little Word for this year “Intent.” I wanted to be intentional about my life, something that has only come naturally to me in times of trauma or crisis. Lists are how I compartmentalize and deal with hard feelings. I have been here before: obsessively writing things down in a planner so that I don't forget. The Back to School crazies do this to me. To-do lists, project notes, grocery lists, monthly goals, and intentions... They all get scribbled down in this giant notebook that has sort of become essential to building a life and staying somewhat sane in the process. Apart from the day-to-day, I know I need to get better at setting goals and also putting in the work to actually accomplish them.

But actually planning for a future feels like scary work. Making a 5-year and 10-year plan feels so daunting when you don’t even know what the rest of the year looks like now that you quit your day job on a whim, and your busy season is over with your side-gig. All of my albums have been delivered, photos sent out, blog posts scheduled. An empty calendar now sits ahead of me with the most daunting question hanging over it: What's next?

There just has to be more than tracking which My So-Called Life and Gilmore Girls actors I can spot on Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice. Using my Get to Work Book has forced me to take the time each week and write out my to-do lists. Plan my days. Put my routine down on paper, fill in the must-do’s, and plan the fun stuff from there. It's a pull of give and take, putting your head down every day and actually making sure you are putting in the effort to get all the stuff on your list done. Don't get sucked into Netflix shows and scrolling through Instagram when you could be working on the magic that is building your own business.

Having intent is half the battle. When sitting down at the beginning of the month, all I could focus on was the giant black clouds hanging over the beginning of the month, the anniversaries of the beginning of my bad days. That first week of September always knocks me off my feet emotionally. My written intention for the month is, "Having the strength to let go of negativity in the pursuit of joy." I still want to be able to find joy in the face of the unknowns on the calendar and in life. Anything is possible in September. It's the season of a fresh start in the middle of the year. The season change makes us shift our intentions.

The positive, business-wise? Autumn is every photographer's dream season. The colors, the layering and styling potential, weddings and people getting their holiday cards ready. I should be all over it, but I don't know how to market for it. I have a half-finished knit blanket sitting next to my chair that seems way more appealing to work on than mini sessions: setting dates, figuring out pricing, picking locations, and opening it to the public. It seems overwhelming, but I know I can break it down, do the math and get it out there in the world.

Ready? Set? Here we go.