good things

Good things: resuming morning walks around the yard. a hot cup of coffee. a good night’s sleep. planning for Justin’s birthday next week. getting an engagement session from the weekend edited. stretching. yesterday I called my primary doc for a therapist rec and that feels like a big step. feeling really really grateful for everything in my life right now. 

1000 posts

This is my 1000th post. I have stuck with this little blog through thick and thin, and honestly I owe a lot to this space for getting me through those years where I took a break from my business. This blog has really grown and changed with me over the years, and blogging regularly here also taught me about content creation, editorial calendars, SEO, and most of all? Discipline.

I can't believe I've been posting here for 8 years, and blogging regularly for 6 of them. I'm even kind of blown away that I've managed to get one post a week up on my business blog as well, but none of what I am doing over there would be possible without everything that started here.

In this little text box, I learned how to pick up the pieces of my life and build something that I am proud to say I built with my own two hands. My life fell apart in 2012 and everything has more or less been up from there. This blog has watched me fall apart and put myself back together in countless forms. Fashion blogging. The craft projects! The coffee pictures. They all offered me a little escape, and some peace of mind while I figured out who I was and what I was going to do with this life I have been given, and now? They're my hobbies, and I love the release that comes from doing something you love just because you love it.

More of that, please. Happy 1000th post, Blogland. I love you to pieces. xo

currently, september edition

diving head first into busy season again. engagement sessions, family photos, and my last wedding of the season—oh my!

working on a fun engagement session from last weekend and I have another one this week. I love my 2020 couples!

booking for fall mini sessions! still have two open Burlington spots and three spots left for Waupaca!

breaking out my fall wardrobe again... loving this shirt and leggings from Amazon!

watching cold case & forensic files because I love murder shows lately.

resisting the urge to break out the pumpkin spice coffee... I like to wait until october or it doesn't feel as special.

speaking of coffee, I've been using my Rachel Allene mug every chance I get!

counting down the days until my next Burlington trip so I can get a caramel apple sundae from Adrian's.

rewarding myself with annual Gilmore rewatch after busy season is over.

listening to a lot of Maggie Rogers, John Mayer, and T-Swift lately.

wishing y'all a happy Monday and a happy rest of September!

little things turn into big things

Slowing down and really taking the time to savor these first days of fall weather and the last days of rest before things really start getting crazy around here. Joyful, indeed. (New mug from Rachel Allene!) I broke out all my leggings and long sleeved shirts again. I have 4 engagement sessions, two rounds of mini sessions for family pictures, a shoot with Abby, plus a wedding on my schedule from next weekend through the end of October... which also means I have enough content from this year to keep me blogging through MARCH. Say what?! My mind is blown.

I still can't stop thinking about being in the hospital last year and in the weeks that followed, I hit a wall where I was like "What the hell am I doing?" I was constantly looking for something to post on Instagram and Facebook, and counting down the days until spring and my wedding season started which that signaled that busy season was here again. All I had on my calendar was Emily's wedding, Abby's senior pictures, and Brittany's wedding. I ran my numbers today and I've made the same amount of money this year that I did last year and we still have Q4 to go.

This whole year has been a giant learning experience for me. It's been almost a year since my flop of an event with Next Stop Kids Shop last fall where nobody bought tickets. I finally put my money where my mouth was and invested in my future and I'm 100% convinced that is how I got to where I am now. I hit my wedding goal for next year this week! Every single day, I wake up so damn grateful that this is my life. That I have found a way to do the thing that brings the most joy that any job ever has. And there are still days where I have to pinch myself because sometimes I cannot believe that I really don't have to go to Hardee's anymore and perpetually smell like grease and stale french fries. ;)

Last October I was watching everyone on Instagram immersed in busy season and wishing I was in it too. This year, I have 4 engagement sessions with some of my awesome 2020 couples, a shoot with Abby, two rounds of mini sessions for family photos, AND my last wedding of the year the last weekend in October. That meme that's like "Check on your photographer friends. October to us is what April is to accountants. WE ARE NOT OK." is 100% gonna be me once all this gets into full swing.

So I'm savoring these days when I let myself take a nap in the middle of the day and coffee from a mug that's going to become my new favorite, for sure. Cheers, friends!

on sept 3

September 3 has meant a lot of things to me over the years. This morning I woke up shaken after having a bad dream about my grandma. I texted my mom, got up and made coffee, and forgot to take my anxiety meds right away when I got up. When I finally sat down to check my email this morning, I was reminded of everything it has taken for me to get to this point in my life. And it all stems from me picking up a camera, trying to do anything and everything to get out some of the very big feelings that felt like they were crushing me.

The thing about time is that the years start to run together after a while.

I remember on the first anniversary, I was sitting in "the cave" with some of my theatre friends during our last weekend of The Complete Idiot's Guide to High School performances, and we were joking and laughing and they all knew the significance of this date and made sure I was okay. My friends even prank called him to try and make me laugh. (Spoiler alert: they succeeded.)

In 2013, Justin took me on an adventure to give me a good memory from this day. We went down to South Park after we got done with work and I brought my camera along to get some self-portraits for my 365 project. My favorite photos from that night were from when I held my camera steady and got photos of the stars. That night will always be such a special addition to my memory bank.

In 2017, I celebrated finally being able to set clear and defined boundaries for the first time in my life. It took me 11 years to figure out how to stand up for myself and say No and actually mean it. After my dad died and I was able to process that, I realized that I needed to get a backbone and that all started with boundary setting. My boundaries were mostly centered around work and I wasn't going to take anyone's crap anymore. That's one of the greatest life lessons I have learned on September 3.

This year, I woke up from a bad dream feeling shaken. When I finally sat down with my computer today, there were a few surprises in my email inbox. I booked another wedding this morning, which means I hit my goal of booking 6 weddings for next year, and I received inquiries for a few more 2020 dates. Looking back on all the time that has passed, I wouldn't even be where I am now without this incident that completely turned my entire world upside down.

I am incredibly grateful for progress and growth, all the support I have received on this difficult day through the years from the people who love me well, and for this life that I have created for myself that I would not have without what happened to me. 13 years is a long time—next year I will have survived half of my life living with this and that blows my mind. I'm grateful every day that I picked up a camera and it brought me that first spark of joy that I had felt since it happened.

Celebrate your little victories. Make your bad days something worth celebrating. You are not defined by the bad things that happen to you.