September 29, 2013

queen of hearts

Sweater: Target, Jeans: Walmart, Boots: Lane Bryant

Nothing is more depressing than when you're in the mood to take pictures and your camera battery dies right in the middle of your shoot... but I'm okay with the pictures I got today. (Now if I could only find my battery charger...) This sweater is a recent purchase from Target. It's a little slouchy, very comfortable, and I love the print.

I NEED TO DYE MY HAIR. I want to go back to my natural blonde, but I need to strip the red out of my hair first. Any suggestions would be great!

September 25, 2013

windows

Something different, something new. I like these.

September 24, 2013

tuesday adventures

Shirt: Thrifted, Pants: Old Navy, Shoes: Kohl's

I haven't picked up my camera in almost a week, so we had a golden hour park adventure today. It was exactly what I needed to get my photo mojo back. These pictures remind of me this one I took last September, when I had lost my photo mojo and couldn't take a self portrait to save my life. September seems to do that to me and I don't know why. But I think I have my mojo back now, and it feels really really good.

September 15, 2013

sweater weather is better weather

You guessed it... I thrifted this sweater the other day too. 'Tis the season to add to my ugly sweater collection. Fall is starting to make its appearance around here, and that makes me really happy.

September 14, 2013

up in the woods

Shirt: Walmart, Skirt: Thrifted, Sandals: Kohls

This is a "quick throw stuff together because I don't want to dig through boxes" outfit. I thrifted this skirt yesterday; it's actually part of a set and the shirt is sort of hideous, but I love the print on the skirt so I couldn't pass it up. Maybe I'll do a thrifting haul blog post with everything I bought yesterday.

Today I got to learn how to work breakfast, and I only got ~4 hours of sleep altogether last night so it's time for some Netflix and a cat nap. Have a good weekend!

September 13, 2013

newbie

Welcome to the newest member of my camera family. I have to find some film for him and see if he works, but I think he's going to like it here.

September 12, 2013

nature's course

I got off work early tonight so I went on a solo adventure down by the lake. I didn't feel much like self portraits so I took pictures of pretty much everything else and tried my hand at free-lensing (which is addicting). Tonight was like photograph therapy, if you will... and it ended up being exactly what I needed.

September 10, 2013

insta-trip

adrian's // "all good things in all good time," noelle's room
bianca // sage
mom's bathroom // #juniorgram
leftover napoli's // haircut!

some instagram photos from my trip home over labor day weekend.

September 05, 2013

back to school

Shirt: H&M+, Necklace: Thrifted, Ribbon: Craft bin, Pants: Old Navy, Shoes: Kohl's

All the kiddos went back to school this week, so this is my homage to first day of school outfits. These cords are so comfy and the tshirt runs very big but it's super comfy as well. Both of these pieces I think will transition nicely into fall and winter. I hope you all had a good first day back at school!

September 04, 2013

September 03, 2013

bittersweet

September 3 is a hard day for me every year. There is always a divide in my day--a before and after, if you will. Though I cannot pinpoint the exact time when this divide begins, I always know when one ends and the next begins from how big the giant pit in my stomach gets. I have to kiss the part of myself I lost that night goodbye again, for the seventh time and start to rebuild for a process that will continue on for the rest of my life.

I am a seven year survivor of sexual abuse. Today is the anniversary of the last time.
36/52: my story as of 09/2011 on flickr

I never thought a simple date could ever have the power to turn me into a blubbering mess of snot and incoherence with the tick of a few simple seconds. I never thought a world of panic attacks and depression, a world so devoid of actual feelings would consume me. I never thought a simple phrase would change my life so dramatically. I never thought I would lose some of my favourite family members over this. I never thought something so horrible would ever happen to me... But doesn't everyone?
265/365 on flickr

When I started going to therapy and got the nerve to discuss what had happened to me, I learned a lot of things. The one fact that has stuck with me most is that one in every three girls and one in every four boys will be sexually abused before they turn eighteen. Every 7 minutes, someone else in the United States becomes a victim. I became just one in 1/3 of all women who develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after sexual assault. The facts made my brain hurt, but they also comforted me in a way... They let me know that I wasn't alone.

Today is bittersweet, for a lot of reasons. Without this event in my life, the loss of my innocence if you will, I don't know if I ever would have discovered photography or found my voice as a writer. Shortly after the abuse, I picked up my mom's digital camera and ran with it; when a camera wasn't available, I learned to write to get all the garbage and self-hatred out of my head. These two hobbies now have become my passions, which have manifested into this blog.

I have a lot of people to thank. You guys know who you are: my best friends, my shoulders to cry on, the first numbers on speed dial, the ones who don't mind if I call at 3AM because I'm freaking out and don't know what to do, the ones who never said, "Anna, it's not a big deal. Stop thinking about it," the ones who reassured me time and time again that my feelings are valid and justified and that no one has the right to belittle what happened because he didn't rape me. You guys are the best and I am sending out infinite love and hugs from here in Blogland.

I'm coping the best I can. Each year is different. Today, I start the process of letting go all over again.