July 31, 2018

practice makes better


Sometimes I forget about the days when my camera literally used to be attached to my hand. I knew it inside out and frontward and backward. I need to get that sense of familiarity back with my new camera, and the only way to do that is to use the dang thing more and not be so intimidated by it. Take more pictures of my everyday life. Practice what I can for actual shoots just using random objects around my house. Say to my friends, "Hey, do you guys wanna get dressed up and we can go take pictures for fun?" like I used to before life got messy and adulthood complicated everything.

I'm trying to be okay with posting these pictures even though they're not technically ~the best~ or whatever stupid comparison game my brain is trying to make me play. My perfectionist tendencies lay dormant until moments like this come up, and then they bombard my brain with, "This isn't in focus" and "You can do better than this."

All I can think about is when I used to play the clarinet in middle school. I hated practicing. I would put it off and put it off. I went from being first chair clarinet in sixth-grade band to being the sixth chair in seventh-grade band. The difference was that summer, my clarinet sat in its case and collected dust. I didn't practice anymore. I quit. Threw in the towel. Gave up and moved onto choir when I went into high school (and now I'm lucky if I even sing in the car anymore).

The major setback now is the follow through. How many projects have I started in the past year and not finished? (Don't answer that.) How many scrapbooks, knitting projects, journals, etc. are just sitting around collecting dust because of my inability to see something through to completion? (Answer: too many to disclose.) What is it about finishing projects that's so hard for me? Why is practicing always the last thing on my to-do list, but I can make time to scroll through Instagram and Twitter 7000 times every day?

I think the most important thing I've learned in the last few months is that we make time for the things that bring us joy. If I want to get better at taking pictures, I have to be willing to bring my camera out and actually use it, whether it's just taking pictures of my coffee in the morning or going out to take self-portraits now that I no longer spend every sunset serving overpriced fast food to crabby people. You have to go out and put in the work in order to see results, with just about damn near everything in life.

I am vowing right now to use my big camera more. Stop playing the comparison game in my head. Do the work. Practice makes better.

July 29, 2018

sunflower fields forever


After my shoot last night, I decided to drive around Burlington for the usual "Let's see what's changed and what's stayed exactly the same" sight-seeing tour. I'M SO GLAD I DID. Right on the edge of town, before all the backroads I take for granted, was a sunflower field full of people taking pictures and picking your own for $1 a stem. Beautiful. Wonderful. Magical.

It reminds me of the summer when I was 5, after our neighbor's house had burned down on Christmas Eve, sunflowers bloomed and reached the sky in the empty lot next door. They were beautiful, even in my childhood eyes, and I never forgot them. I will always think sunflowers are magic because of them.

And, of course, I never go anywhere without my tripod...


So grateful for the magic that happens every time I go home. The three-hour drive gives me time to think and process and sing along off-key to my favorite radio stations. My creativity always sparks in Burlington. I told my mom today that I took for granted the fact that I know Burlington's backroads like the back of my hand because I can't get around Waupaca the same way I can in Burlington. Even when road construction completely turns around my routes, and my mom and I get stranded in a parking lot and have to resort to either bottoming out my car or moving construction barrels, there's still magic there. The quality time with my people, even if it's only a few minutes here or there, fills my heart up with so much joy.

In a word, this weekend was absolutely wonderful.

July 24, 2018

currently, july edition



savoring my morning coffee & dappled sunlight

listening to the music that got me through high school

reading come matter here by Hannah Brencher

watching grey’s from the beginning again

knitting another blanket

trying to learn how to cook

booking shoots for August

feeling inspired & grateful that my friends trust me & my work

looking forward to a trip to Burlington this weekend

building a new “work for myself” routine

trusting that this is what I need to be doing right now

July 23, 2018

monday gratitude


Grateful for... getting up early, coffee, a hot shower, the good morning light that I usually miss because I am too busy sleeping, mid-morning naps, clean laundry, the act of folding laundry, this poem that I analyzed in my AP English class senior year, Grey's Anatomy, knitting to keep my hands busy, old friends, Kevin Devine sing-alongs, all the music I used to listen to in high school and drive with the windows down to, fresh starts, a trip to Burlington this weekend, Coffee House dates with a wedding couple, the inevitable Adrian's run, having the ability to invest in my business, the sun, golden hour, Come Matter Here by Hannah Brencher, this season of change and welcoming the unknown.

July 19, 2018

noelle & josh, 06-16-18

My best friend married her person last month, and I'm finally getting around to sharing some pictures I took that weekend.

Venue: Old Coon Creek Inn, Beloit, WI
Hair: Kinsey Coffey @ Sanctuary Spa, Rockton, IL