day 100

Today is day 100 of my 365 project. I have taken a picture every single day for the last 100 days. On the heels of a bunch of the artists I follow on Instagram completing The 100 Day Project by Elle Luna, if I was only doing 100 days instead of a year, I would be done. There's something special about being disciplined enough to do something for 100 consecutive days. 

I spent this morning outside reading on the deck. Coffee in hand, listening to Elise's podcast about completing the 100 Day Project. It left me feeling inspired to keep going with my 365. I want to bottle this feeling and store it up for later but I can't. All I can do is keep making stuff. Making breeds making. Ideas only breed more ideas. The only way to really stay inspired is to keep rolling with your ideas while you have them. 

100 days down. 265 more to go. 

i owe a lot to frank warren.

I got text my best friend tonight and tell her, "Frank's not a douche!" A long standing inside joke from when we were in high school and used to obsessively refresh our browsers once the clock struck midnight in Germantown, MD. Post Secret, the art and the community have made me a better person for the last ten years that I've been reading. I've even sent in a few way back in the day, but they've never been posted. Frank Warren is the best.

peaks & valleys

Peaks and valleys is all life is ever made of. Everything ebbs and flows and we are always constantly trying to obtain equilibrium, and every time we are always knocked on our asses because some obstacle always stands in our way. Whether something comes up at home or at work or at school, something will always be obstructing that "so close you can smell it" view of happiness that society and the media have planted in our heads. 

Life is always "in progress." If it wasn't and everything went exactly the way we wanted them to, day in and day out, things would get a little bit boring.

The best example I can think of for this is art. Creative inspiration ebbs and flows like waves lapping against the shoreline. Making breeds making, but sometimes your energy shifts and then you're just in an ebb. Your inspiration will always come back. You will always find your flow again. 

inspiration, come on down

I follow a lot of amazing artists. I am fortunate enough to even be friends with some of them. And these artist friends of mine? They share a lot of awesome and inspiring things on Facebook. (Which is awesome because then I don't see as many minion posts & recipes nobody is ever going to make.)

The other day, this post was made by someone who I have been following since I was heavily active on flickr in 2009. 

I couldn't hit like and share fast enough. 

I love art. I love other people who love art. I don't necessarily need to succeed in art at this point in my life where I've made it just a hobby, but I love every single point Joel made here. Especially, "Laugh and cry and be angry about it and then scoop up those pieces and make something from it."

That's always been my motivation to make. The emotions. All of those complex, messy and wonderful feelings get to be made into something tangible through art. And then I get to hang that art in my house. Or give it to friends. Or try to sell it so other people can enjoy it. And when that doesn't work, you give it away. Give away your feelings so that other people can experience them too. 

That's what life is all about, isn't it?

good vs. bad vs. art

I read this article this afternoon and something clicked in my head.

All of the moments of "absolute narcissism" are the good days: the ones where you take care of yourself, when you make the things that you to make, when you make sense of the bad days. They're the days you feel invincible. The days when the sun is out and you're in a good mood and you want to dance it all out because you're so. damn. happy. 

And all of the moments of "crippling self doubt" are the bad days: the ones where you don't get out of bed, when you stare longingly at your work pile and wish you had the energy to work on it, when you remember the good days fondly and hope that they will come back. They are the days you spend scrolling through Instagram and looking at all of the other creative people you follow and you think, "How do they do that? How do they have a business and a marriage and a family and a LIFE(?!)while I'm sitting here like a lump in my bed?"

Sometimes you scroll a bit more, read one more blog entry, listen to one more podcast, and then you feel it: that little seed of inspiration starting in your head. You write a note on your hand. Type a note into your phone. Do something, anything, to save your idea before it flits away into the void. That's where the art comes in. The inspiration, the seed, the idea. 

You need the bad days to make you appreciate the good ones. You need the good days to calm the suffering during the bad ones. You use the ideas you conjure up during the good days to calm you on the bad days. Use the ideas from the bad days to inspire you look at the details. Trust your ideas. Turn those ideas into a process. 

Dive into your process and make your art. Let your feelings be heard or seen or smelled or tasted or felt. Set them out into the world so they are no longer bottled up inside of you. Let other people experience them too. 

on inspiration

"What inspires you? In your life? In your day? In your art?"

Life: People. Everyone has a different story and if you look hard enough, you can still see their childhood imprinted in their eyes and the way they smile. My people—my family, friends, coworkers, people I see on a semi-daily basis—they are the most inspiring. They have shown me strength, courage, bravery, grace, and all the goodness in the world. My people are truly an army. They have raised me up when I was at my lowest points, and they have shown me that it's the little things that really matter. It's like in the season 5 finale of Grey's Anatomy, Meredith says, "Did you say it? 'I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life.' Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then, look around; Drink it in 'cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow." 

Day: Morning. I always wake up an hour or two before I have to be somewhere so I can have some quiet time to myself. I drink my coffee and sometimes take a picture for my #annalovesmornings series. I check social media & blogs. I take selfies on Snapchat while I do my makeup and get ready. It's routine. Quiet. Calm. It helps me settle my head and emotionally prepare myself for the day ahead of me. 

Art: I am inspired by light, shadows and shapes. I am inspired by color. I am inspired by texture. I am inspired by lines. I am inspired by imagery and text. I am inspired by the process. Making things starts off as a rush and ends as a rush but the in between is a constant series of highs and lows. "Is this good enough?" "Does this look okay?" "I don't ever want my art to be good enough. I need to take pride in my work, damn it!" "I hate this. I'm starting over." "Actually I think it's done." I'm a starter. I only get about halfway through things most of the time before I lose interest (see: summer mini book, that pink & grey scarf) and they sit collecting dust until my creative energy comes back to them. That's why I think in order to understand the ebb and flow of the flighty temptress, inspiration, you need to understand how you work and what your processes are. And figuring that out is half the fun. I love making things and I will be a happy camper if I can just keep doing that for the rest of my life. 

i love postsecret

I have been reading postsecret since middle school. For years, my best friend and I waited up until midnight on Sunday just to see other people's secrets. If there wasn't an update by the time we got up, whoever got up first sent a text: "Frank is a douche." Every Sunday morning I look forward to postsecret updates, and getting to take a look back at classic secrets from the beginning is always fun to see which ones I remember. These postcards from this week are inspiring me to experiment with color and play with paper. A+

awesome quote

Saw this quote on tumblr the other day. Made me think of CHOOSE and how every day I get to change stuff and learn something new. Happy Thursday! I'm finishing up my coffee and then I get to go to work! 

*quote graphic created with the A Beautiful Mess app for iPhone 

saturday

Golden morning light & empty coffee cups—inspiration at its finest. 

inspiration: light

Super inspired by light lately. Thinking about skin and sunlight and hotel windows and beds that aren't mine. Writing down concepts for images that I want to make in the future. Feels good to be inspired again. All images are not mine & were found on tumblr. 

mood board

Went through the archives and made this inspiration board. I love fall and being cozy and all the colors. 

inspiration

These three quotes have stuck in my head a lot lately. The Kübler-Ross one when my anxiety creeps in, Ginsberg when it's late at night and I can't sleep and I make myself get out of bed and make something, and Dylan for every day encouragement. I can do this. Happy Thursday!

obsessions

"'Why? Why would you write 10,000 Ways to Say I Love You? Do we really need 10,000 ways? Aren't you getting a little bit obsessed?' Of course I'm obsessed. Teachers and artists are always obsessed by their topics."

I was flipping through 10,000 Ways to Say I Love You the other night and that part from the introduction caught my eye. It's so true... Whenever I get inspired, I dive in headfirst to whatever it is that I'm working on, whether it's photography or painting or knitting or whatever else I can throw myself into. I always recognize that energy when it's there and say a prayer of thanksgiving for it because it means that I get to do what I love. I'm always looking forward to the next thing I can get my hands on, but I always enjoy the process in the middle.

Right now I'm in the in between. I need to get more yarn for my blanket. I'm staring at a painting I started a month ago because I think it needs something but I can't figure out what that something is. I'm still trying to take a picture every day for February. Works in progress are everywhere around me and I'm still excited about them because I'm obsessed with what I do. And that feels so good.

podcasts

Recently I've gotten way more into podcasts.

Last April, when Elise Cripe launched her podcast Elise Gets Crafty was when I first really discovered how enjoyable podcasts are. The thing I love about Elise's podcast is that her content always inspires me. She talks about blogging, small business, inspiration, creativity and motivation and every Wednesday morning I sit down with a cup of coffee and get ready to get to work. 

Through Elise, I found Cortnee Loren Brown's podcast Creative Start. As the name suggests, Cortnee interviews creatives about how they got their start. Elise was a guest in episode 3. This podcast gives me a jump start on Tuesday mornings and makes me think about where I started from and what can I do now to make my story better and to make my work better. 

These are really the only two podcasts I ever listen to, but I'm always on the look out for more creative inspiring podcasts. What are you guys listening to lately?

daylight savings blues

From the archives, November 2011

I remember the way I felt when I took this photo. Photography wasn't exciting to me anymore. I was heading into my first Christmas season at the studio, preparing me for working 7 days a week during most of 2012. Pre-burnout, pre-family meltdown, pre-Justin. I was a whole different person.

And yet... I haven't picked up my camera in weeks. I miss photography. I miss blogging. I feel the same way now that I did then. It's funny how much can change in three years and yet how the same feelings can come back to haunt us. Old ghosts ratting around in our tired, achy bones. Daylight savings time drained me of energy. While I was grateful for an extra hour of sleep, I miss the sun. I miss warmth and I miss light parties and I miss having light until at least 6 o' clock.

I'm in a funk. I have to reinspire myself, look for magic in my everyday life again. I want to make the rest of this year count.

on inspiration

Inspiration always ebbs and flows. After picking up photography seven years ago, nothing is more obvious to me than this. Every year I find myself "in a rut" and every year I struggle to pull myself out.

When I completed my 365 in 2010, I always knew that tomorrow I had the chance to do better. Maybe today I was busy, bogged down with work & school & college applications, but I knew that the choice to do better was always on the horizon. All it took was a short walk down to the playground or the soccer field and I knew my creative mojo would come back.

Today, it seems harder for me to tap into inspiration when I run out of ideas. It's harder for me to "just wing it" like I always have in the past. I do, however, have a few methods of looking for inspiration that I didn't know how to do a few years ago. 

Read. Read a lot. Books, magazines, articles, blogs. I've always been an avid reader and now I've learned to appreciate how the words of others can aide in the inspiration department. Right now, I've been slowly making my way through The Happiness Project and trying to identify and take the steps necessary to leading a more fulfilling life.

I also find myself going back into the archives of A Beautiful Mess as well as Elise Blaha Cripe's blog, enJOY it, to look for inspiration. Elsie & Emma have grown their business and their brand from the ground up and I love that they've documented everything along the way. Elise frequently blogs about goal setting and small business (and cool DIYs! Project Life! Her awesome family!) and she is someone I aspire to be like when I grow up. Her advice to "just start" is always perfect to read when I need that extra push to get an idea off the ground. 

Speaking of archives, I frequently go through my own as well, both on the blog and on my flickr page. Reading my own words and seeing past photos can sometimes spark something in me to see things in a different light. I look for different poses I've used, certain ways that I have manipulated different lighting setups to work for me, and when all else fails as least I know that my own work goes through phases as I do in my life. It's interesting to see where my work was say, four years ago during my first 365 and when I was in art school as opposed to where it is now when I am a broke twenty-something trying to figure out how to chase my dreams. 

Music is another big point for me. I have a whole set on flickr dedicated to interpreting song lyrics into photos. Music brings out so many emotions in people, it sets the tone for a lot of my own memories and it's fun to take those words that other people have written and put my own spin on them. 

Pinterest, while it can be a huge time suck, is another tool I turn to for inspiration when I need it. I have a whole board just for photo inspiration full of photos from my favourite photographers and random things I've found while browsing. It's nice to have all of my visual inspiration in one place. 

Right now, I'm in the process of going through seven years of archives and making a hardcover portfolio that I can show to future potential clients. It's exciting to see how far my work has come since 2006. I was a baby, fourteen years old and taking pictures of everything I could. Now I've tackled one successful 365 self portrait project, one 52 weeks project and am in the process of seeing another one through to completion. I have taken a million self portraits. I have photographed 26 seniors since I started taking photography seriously, the summer before my senior year of high school. I've dabbled in fashion photography, as well as families, babies, weddings and events. I'm confident in all of the experience I have under my belt that I can make a career out of this. 

I worked at a portrait studio for a year and a half that gave me such a great opportunity to learn what it takes to run a business, a lesson in efficiency, and how to provide awesome customer service. My time with Lifetouch was such an eye opening experience and I would absolutely do it again if I could. 

I can find inspiration everywhere. You can too. Just believe in yourself and the journey you're on and you can do it.

*some links throughout are affiliate, which means if you purchase something I receive a small commission